How to Self-Fulfill Your Love Language

How to Self-Fulfill Your Love Language

Okay, so I think it's fair to assume you already know your love language. This is a concept created by Gary Chapman who published his first book on the topic in 1992.

He teaches us how to identify our love language and learn in which ways we most crave love from others and in which ways we express our love for others. Not everyone communicates love in the same way and not everyone wants to receive love the same. 

Gary categorized the five unique styles of communicating love which is a concept he found through his experience in marriage counseling. 

He states that “We all may relate to most of these languages, but each of us has one that speaks to us the most,”

Learning both yours and your partner's primary love language can give a better understanding of each other's needs and ways in which you can help foster a better relationship. 


But before learning about your partner's love language, I think it's incredibly beneficial to learn all about yours and ways in which you can self-fulfill this language. 

Yes, I absolutely want you to have a thriving relationship and be able to better understand your partner. I am not saying to also learn and do that… what I am saying is that you will never be able to give genuine, heartfelt love for another person, until you feel all that and more for yourself. 

How you feel about yourself is usually reflected through how you treat others. 

So if you want a better relationship with your spouse, or family members or friends, learn how to fill up your own bucket and provide so much love for yourself. 


Let’s quickly go over the 5 languages to see which fits you and your needs best then I will discuss some things you can do for yourself under each language.

  1. Words of affirmation; If this is your primary love language you value verbal acknowledgments of affection. This can include compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement.

    2. Quality Time: This love language is all about undivided attention without the distraction of television, phone screens, or any other outside interference.

    3. Acts of Services: This love language is for people who believe that actions speak louder than words. Unlike those who prefer to hear how much they're cared for, people on this list like to be shown how they're appreciated.

    4. Gifts: Gifts is a pretty straightforward love language: You feel loved when people give you "visual symbols of love," as Chapman calls it. It's not about the monetary value but the symbolic thought behind the item.

    5. Physical Touch: People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection

So one of those languages probably stuck out to you more than the others. Your self-love language CAN be different from the ways in which you want to receive love from others - Although, I did find mine to be the exact same. I like to give love to others and myself the same way in which I like to receive it. 

After identifying which of the 5 is yours - take action. Self-fulfill your love language in order to feel deep & genuine appreciation and affection towards your own self. Remember - self love is NOT selfish. By doing this you are actually doing a wonderful service to others. 

I will list out a few things you can do for yourself for each language. 

Words of Affirmation: 

  • Keep a gratitude journal 

  • Recite some positive affirmations

  • Compliment yourself

  • Write positive notes 

  • Make a vision board

  • Read self-help books

  • Watch a motivational speech

Quality Time:

  • Enjoy the sunset

  • Watch a meaningful movie you enjoy

  • Paint 

  • Read

  • Garden

  • Go on a hike

  • Go for a run

  • Meditate 

Acts of services: 

  • Set monthly goals

  • Declutter and tidy up your space

  • Donate to a charity

  • Meal prep

  • Volunteer

  • Do your nails 

  • Get your hair done


  • Buy yourself flowers

  • Invest in a hobby

  • Enroll in a fun course

  • Treat yourself

  • Upgrade your wardrobe 

  • Take yourself on a trip

Physical Touch:

  • Take a bubble bath

  • Dance

  • Stretch

  • Take up a new skin care routine

  • Cuddle your pets 

  • Enjoy a cup of tea

  • Get a massage


Make self love a priority for the next week. Choose one thing a day that you can do for yourself to show yourself love. It can be as simple as looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself all the things you find attractive about yourself to going out and getting a much needed massage.

The more you love yourself, the more you can love others.

Feel happy to give happy. 


I love you so, so hard! and...I love me so, so hard!



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